Following Stars and Protecting Children
Reframing the Christmas story as a survivor of childhood trauma.
This newsletter is an adapted reprint from a blog originally published on Dec 19, 2017.
O star of wonder, star of night, Star with royal beauty bright,
Westward leading, still proceeding, Guide us to thy perfect light.
Since childhood, my favorite Christmas carol has been We Three Kings. I have never been sure why the song was my favorite. The melody is almost sad and haunting and hearkens back to the Middle Ages. It was written by John Henry Hopkins, Jr. for a Christmas Pageant in 1857. In its original format, the three kings would each sing a verse. I seem to remember it being sung in parts. I knew every single word and it never felt like Christmas until I heard these words.
We three kings of Orient are;
Bearing gifts we traverse afar,
Field and fountain, moor and mountain,
Following yonder star
The journey of the Kings is an epic quest tale. As a child, I had a fascination with quest stories. The Wizard of Oz was a quest. Pilgrim’s Progress was a quest. My life was a quest. I totally relate to the kings who followed a star. Now knowing my story, I understand I was on a quest from the time I was a child. It has been so amazing to finally meet my child-selves who would never give up until they reached their healing star and handed me gifts of understanding each of their deeply hidden memories. It was an epic quest.
I can still see my young self standing in the rows of pews. I knew the song as soon as the first few notes played. It was time to sing about the Kings who followed the star and found baby Jesus! I had been a baby once. I wondered if they would have adored me. Baby Jesus was a special gift given to the world, but wasn’t that true of every baby? Wasn’t that true of me?
Yes, maybe that was important to me, but this morning, I realized there was more. It wasn’t just that the Wisemen came and worshipped. They did something much more important than that. They listened to what God communicated in a dream and went home another way. They protected Jesus.
The story of how Herod killed the small children in search of Jesus is a tragic tale of those who have no regard for human life beyond their own broken desires for power. It is a part of the story that doesn’t fit with the warm and cozy Nativity scenes, but it is part of the human reality. It is a reality that lives out every day in our world.
Did God protect me? It didn’t seem like it. God obviously wanted to protect Jesus from the devious earthly vengeance of Herod the Great. What Herod said is chilling, “Go and make a careful search for the child. As soon as you have found him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him.” Was Jesus the only child God wanted to protect? It is a legitimate question.
The voice of Herod is exactly like those who should have been trustworthy but weren’t. Herod made choices. He used his freewill for evil. God could not stop that, but did everything possible to protect Jesus—and I think the other children also. I believe God wept over the children that night. Why couldn’t they all be saved?
The more I understand the power of God, the more I realize God’s work and plans depend on humans. Just like the Wisemen protected Jesus by going home another way, was it possible that every child could have been saved? I think many were, but not all could be. Every parent tried their best but they were powerless. That doesn’t mean that no one could have stopped the carnage—Herod certainly could have. I am sure there were others but the evil is often so great that the entire human race needs to step in.
Still, one child was saved because the Wisemen listened and then Mary and Joseph listened. God didn’t ask the five of them to save all the children. They were asked to save one. I want to save all the children, but that is not possible. What I can do is help others understand how to help the children who have lived through darkness no child should ever know. The children cannot help themselves; they need adults to protect them.
The Christmas story is about a small child. It is so easy to miss the human component. It is easy to forget that God asks us to do more than worship. Worship is a two-way experience that also involves listening and action. I wonder if I, as a child, understood that the Wisemen had protected Jesus? It is completely possible. The more I understand myself as a child, the more I believe this is possible. I probably had my own verse in my head.
We Three Kings have come from afar
Following God, our guide is a star
We bring our gifts and listen to dreams
Things are not at all what they seem
Listening to the voice that guides us
We protect the life of young-child Jesus
I believe that adults hold the power to protect children. I am grateful that more and more churches are receiving training and implementing policies that will protect them. Be diligent to watch out for children who need protection. Listen for God to guide you. Be the one caring adult who can make a difference in a child’s life. We really can change the world—one child at a time.
The following endorsement for Brave was also included in the blog. I am honored and humbled by these words and thankful that so many have helped me be a voice for children who have experienced attachment wounding and trauma.
“Janyne McConnaughey bravely becomes the voice for children who have experienced attachment wounding and trauma. I highly recommend this book for all professionals who work with children and adults that struggle with attachment and the far-reaching effects of childhood trauma. Not only does her book provide insight into the painful experience of trauma but helps the reader understand the ‘why’ behind the behavior of a hurting child. Janyne also boldly speaks hope, which is so desperately needed by those impacted by trauma and the hurt of disrupted attachment.”
–Heather C. Thompson, MS, LPC, Child and Family Therapist, A Safe Place to Grow Counseling