Pulpit & Pew: A Trauma-Responsive Conversation
Part I: Understanding Ourselves and Others Better
Part I: Understanding Ourselves and Others Better
At the end of the six-week course from which these conversations derive (see explanation), the final reflection asked students the following question.
How can you apply what you have learned in this course in your current life and/or future work or choices?
It was Josh’s response to this question that prompted me to start this series. By this time, the assignments and my responses had become a conversation between the two of us as is reflected in his response:
“I have already begun to apply these concepts to my life and work. I do not doubt that as my understanding of these concepts grows, my life and ministry will undergo profound and foundational change. The Gospel of Jesus does not change, but you, Dr. McConnaughey, told me previously that your dad wished he understood people better [this was in the first chapter of Trauma in the Pews]. I know that feeling. These concepts have been revelations, not of God, but of humanity. Revelations I have been desperately needing as I attempt to lead a church toward health, wholeness, and Christlikeness. I am excited about the future and interested in how I can help get all of this information out to my brother and sister pastors and beyond.
I read that and thought, “Well Josh, let’s just make that happen!” And here we are.
Chapter One: Making Sense of the World
Several years ago when my colleague and I chose the book What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey, we knew it was likely a risk. Over the four years, I have used the book in the class, many were skeptical, but it did not take but one chapter to embrace the book. I enjoyed Josh’s honest response in his end-of-week reflection:
“I didn’t expect to be reading a book with Oprah Winfrey as one of the authors, but I am hooked just in this first chapter. I enjoyed the writing style and the back-and-forth conversation between Dr Perry and Ms Winfrey (2021). These ideas about trauma and how the brain is affected are not new at this point, of course [he had completed several courses that delved deeply into neuroscience at this point], but I think Dr. Perry has given me a visual I will use with people often in his “upside-down triangle.” That makes it simple to draw on a napkin or a random piece of paper to walk people through the “layers” in the human brain as it processes from the bottom up.”
And my response!
Smiling over here because, no, I don't think you expected to be reading a book by Oprah. I debated long and hard about this—as did my colleagues—because she has not been well accepted in many circles and I was part of those circles for many years. When I read this book the first time, I was as engaged (and surprised) as you were. I have seen this book turn so many Christians toward viewing themselves and others with greater compassion. It is remarkable. And yes, that visual! I think everyone has mentioned it!
The Visual: Hierarchal Organization of the Human Brain
Due to copyright restrictions, I cannot include the diagram Josh mentions, but if you Google “Hierarchal Organization of the Human Brain” and click on images you will find the diagram. The following is a summary (ChatGPT):
Cortex (Thinking Brain) – Handles reasoning, problem-solving, and impulse control.
Limbic System (Emotional Brain) – Governs emotions, memory, and relationships.
Diencephalon (Midbrain) – Regulates bodily functions like sleep, hunger, and motor control.
Brainstem (Reptilian Brain) – Manages survival functions like breathing and fight-or-flight responses.
I understood why Josh needed a simple diagram. For the most part, few congregants know anything about these structures in the brain or their functions—even though Christians would be the first to say we are wonderfully created by God. I think “wonderfully complex” is a fantastic description of our brains and body!
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
Psalm 139: 13-14 (Living Translation)
But the structure of the brain is not as important as how those structures work! All sensory information enters the body at the lower levels of the brain. Dr. Perry explains:
“Input from all of our senses—vision, hearing, touch, smell—first comes into our brain in the lower areas. None of our sensory input goes directly to the cortex; everything first connects to lower parts of the brain.” (p. 26)
What this means is that the brains of those who have experienced traumatic events, connect these sensations with previous experiences along with the emotions associated with them. And the brain tells the body it is in danger. This is a trigger—a reaction that occurs instantly. All of this takes place before the thinking brain can engage.
Why is this important? Because ministry leaders like my dad and Josh wish they understood people better. Most of those we serve wish they understood themselves better. We all wish we understood ourselves better!
This series will introduce other resources, but the information for What Happened to You? is below. Chapter One is a rich resource—this post barely touches on it.
Suggested Reading
The book upon which most of the reflections we will discuss was What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing. If you are following along with this series, I highly suggest moving this book to the top of your TBR list! The audiobook is a genuine conversation between the authors—I highly recommend it!
The following ChatGPT summary will provide a glimpse at the content.
What Happened to You? by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey explores trauma, resilience, and healing through a lens of compassion and neuroscience. Here are three key takeaways:
Shift from "What's Wrong with You?" to "What Happened to You?"
Instead of judging behaviors as problematic, we should recognize that past experiences, especially childhood trauma, shape how people think, feel, and react. Understanding someone's history fosters empathy and better support.The Brain Develops Through Relationships and Experiences
Early life experiences, particularly in caregiving relationships, shape brain development. Trauma can disrupt these processes, but positive, nurturing connections help rewire the brain and promote healing.Healing Happens Through Safe and Repetitive Experiences
Recovery from trauma isn’t about a single breakthrough moment—it requires consistent, safe, and supportive relationships that allow the nervous system to regulate and rebuild a sense of trust and security.
Josh’s Bio
The Rev. Josh Hawkins is a native of Indiana and grew up in the First Assembly of God Church in Fort Wayne, serving in many roles until he began working as the discipleship and spiritual life pastor in 2010. Since 2016 Josh has been pastor of the Fremont Community Church in Fremont, IN. Josh and his wife, Rachel have four children between the ages of 22 and 13.
We also studied Oprah Winfrey and Dr Bruce Perry’s book What Happened to You? at university. It is a brilliant read. I loved the conversational style, afterwards I read Dr Bruce Perry’s book The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog. I often recommend both books to people. I love the shift from what is wrong with you to what happened to you. The shift from judgement to compassionate curiosity that this reframe invites.
I've been looking forward to this! I enjoyed reading "What Happened to You?" a while back, and I remember thinking at the time that I never thought I'd be reading a book by Oprah Winfrey. It was so helpful! And I am amazed at the way God made us!