The Blank Page of Exhaustion

This week has been a very long year.

Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

I am writing this Thursday night. Today was my husband’s birthday. After a concerning visit to the doctor yesterday in which his blood pressure dropped to 80, I spent the day obsessed with figuring out the adjusted medications and tracking his blood pressure. He was better tonight. We streamed Wicked and pretended we were at the movies. Since neither of us can eat the popcorn any longer, the lure of going to the theater has lessened and we were content to sit in our recliners. It felt more like a choice than the result of illness.

That sounded so incredibly old!

Today should have been the start of Pulpit & Pew: A Trauma-Responsive Conversation. My sister-in-law who has designed all my book covers utilized a cover that wasn’t chosen to create the logo and I got the section created on the menu.

Then, I settled in to write. Today I found this:

I laughed out loud when I found it. I didn’t even finish the subtitle. As I said, this week has been a long year. It is so very rare that I am this flatfooted. And maybe I simply refuse to push through things like I used to.

On Saturday I am speaking on the following topic at the Women’s Ministry for Small Churches—free registration is still open. My friend Kristin Humiston (The Ministry Wife Coach) is helping me—it will be a conversation about how incredibly prophetic choosing this title turned out to be. It will be an honest sharing of the lessons I have learned and am now attempting to apply.

I love to write too much to not get back on track, but for today I am going to have compassion for my weary brain that seems to be able to reflect on random things but not much more.