The Joy (Miracle) of Growing Old Together

Retelling and Reframing the Memories of a Lifetime.

What is a lifetime but a basketful of memories? After ten years of healing, Scott and I are sharing our stories—together—as part of the We Do Therapy series that begins this week. We have processed many painful memories over the past ten years, but we managed to also collect a basketful of wonderful memories along the way. We hope you enjoy these reflections from our rocking chairs. (We don’t actually have rocking chairs, but it makes for a good story.)

“Love at first sight is easy to understand;
it’s when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.”
―Sam Levenson—

Scott and I do not take growing old together for granted. We don’t particularly care for the effects of age, but the together part is good. We have fought hard to get here.

“Aging is an extraordinary process
where you become the person you always should have been.”
―David Bowie—

This week we will launch the We Do Therapy series in honor of the work we have done—together— to become the people we always should have been. This would never have happened if we had not both been willing to sit on the therapy couch. We hope the series encourages others who are working to heal the impact that trauma has had on their marriage. We also hope that it helps those not impacted by trauma to better understand those who are.

As we have healed, what becomes most apparent is that we should have enjoyed our life together far more than we did. Not that we didn’t have a good life, but it was just so hard to keep the impact of trauma at bay. It is like enjoying life while holding a huge beach ball under the water. We thought this was how everyone lived. Scott, me, and every therapist who has helped us know we should not have made it!

And yet, we managed to have so many great adventures! We were fantastic explorers (despite my often overwhelming travel anxiety)! A sampling of some of our adventures hangs on a magnet board in RockWall Cottage.

“Traveling – it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.”
—Ibn Battuta—

One of our favorite travel memories! BRAVE Travel Stories: Pay it Forward

So, what brings us joy as we grow old together? It is a simple, quiet list. (Except for the chickens, specifically the roosters—yes there are two—who are not neighbor-friendly since they appear to believe they are competing with each other. It is a problem.)

At the center of our life is laughter. Our laughter has helped us survive and it seems to come easier now. We are far more likely to say the same thing at the exact same time, quite random things. This is a rather recent phenomenon.

I am looking forward to the We Do Therapy conversations that Scott and I will be recording and sharing. He is usually a much quieter partner in crime, but when his humor shows up, it is well worth the wait!