We Need Our Family and Friends
Another Hospital Reflection
Creating regular content is hit or miss these days, but that doesn’t mean I am not writing!
Over the years, in times of distress, I have often returned to the song, Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkel. For most of my life I longed for that friend who would be that person who would personify these lyrics: “Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind.”
The truth was that not God, not my husband, my family, my closest friends (I am blessed with many), nor even my therapists could be this bridge. Not that they weren’t helpful and caring, but until I healed the deep impact of trauma and attachment wounds, it was never going to be enough. I had to become enough for myself to end my unrealistic expectations that others could fill those unmet childhood needs.
There are healthy ways to need our family and friends in times of distress.
Today I will be with my daughter at the hospital. We have been tag teaming but decided that there are hopeful signs and we both need to be on deck. We are a formidable force together. Scott’s health crisis has shown me how much we need one another, even when we are enough for ourselves. It has been one of the most difficult weeks of my life and yet, I can tell the fundamental ways that healing has changed me.
That doesn’t mean I haven’t had some very messy moments! At our age, it only takes one solid unanswerable illness to end the party. I don’t believe this is the one, but it has taught me that I need to better prepare myself for when life upends like this. There were far too many things that I normally leave in Scott’s capable hand—no one as independent as I am should be this clueless!
I am thankful for our neighbors who have given me rides, fed me delicious meals, invited me to watch football, taken over the care of the chickens, and cared for Weber. Weber is grateful and he misses his human.
So many have checked on us. When a long-time friend checked on me with a picture of her “Janyne coffee mug” I felt loved! Hopefully we will have some answers soon!
