What I Needed

Remembering that life is more than pill boxes and medical supplies.

On Friday, our son picked us up at 5:45—as he has twice a week for three weeks—and delivered us to the UW Medical Center. It was the day I was hoping for. The surgeon asked, “Would you like to start coming in one day a week?” I may have cried when I said, “Yes!” It wasn’t only that the clinic days were exhausting; it was that this meant that Scott was moving from post-surgery care to gaining strength and independence. I felt like I could breathe again. It was what I needed.

By the way, when I mention pills—this is what I am talking about. It won’t always be like this, some are only for a month to three months. Tracking the medications is a challenge and the anti-rejection meds are routinely adjusted. I have had my med box checked by nurses and pharmacists almost every visit. 8 a.m. and 8 p.m.—we cannot miss a dose—some for life. So, going one time a week also means they know I can do this.

The caregiver's role in the transplant is something I did not fully comprehend—no matter how they tried to prepare me. All the medical personnel understand this and yet, I am not the patient and when I wrenched my shoulder pushing the wheelchair and had to cancel all my medical appointments, there is sympathy—but I am not the patient. I said, “I went through the rigors of a Ph.D. and this was harder.” The nurse said, “It is far more emotionally exhausting.” Yes, it is—though there were times . . .

So, last week I started writing and it felt so good! Then I realized I was too exhausted to write and I took time to remember things that I enjoy like walks and flowers.

And green spaces, and benches for resting.

Like Legos? Well, it was a typewriter. And a puzzle.

And our son took us to Edmonds to remind us of how much we love the water.

And tonight we went to dinner (first time out—Scott devoured the ribs!) and then back to Edmonds to enjoy the water again. The roses were blooming!

That was what I needed. There is a life beyond pill boxes and medical supplies. We don’t need those supplies anymore and I stored them away. Now I can get back to writing—specifically Green Door Antique Store!