What is Self-Regulation and How Can it Help You Find Inner Peace?

Trauma in the Pews 2.0. Section 2: Part One (First Half)

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What is Self-Regulation and how Can it Help You Find Inner Peace?

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

Regulate to be Calmer
Pause to Consider
Use Agency to Choose

One Sunday morning Maria’s pastor leaned forward over the pulpit and proclaimed, “Is your Bible covered with a layer of dust? Is your life filled with turmoil? You need to connect the dots!” 

These words sank into Maria’s shame-filled body as the sermon went on from there. The sermon probably included helpful things, but the ever-present inner turmoil in her body overcame her ability to listen. The dots she connected led to the following answer: If you read your Bible, you will not have turmoil in your life. Since Maria knew her Bible devotions were sporadic and lifeless, she couldn’t argue. “This inner turmoil must be conviction,” she thought.

Maria’s experience is an example of what happens when we connect the wrong dots. In this case, the wrong dots were identifying the turmoil as conviction and the answer as Bible reading. The correct dots would have identified the turmoil as dysregulation of the autonomic nervous system (ANS) and the answer as self-regulation. Nothing taught to us in the church could have helped me or Maria understand this because the correct dots were never available.

In Trauma in the Pews, Section Two provided an understanding of how the effects of trauma cause spiritual practices to be difficult. It focused on the following concepts: Relational trauma damages the attachment relationship involving trust and security. It also creates false internalized messages of shame and a deep need for validation. Identity formation is hindered, and you may struggle to find a sense of self. What the discussion did not do is address the core issue of how trauma affects your ANS and how developing self-regulation skills can allow you to access spiritual practices. The practices themselves are neither the problem nor the answer. 

The answer Trauma in the Pews 2.0 provides is based in the study of neuroscience—how God created our bodies. It isn’t necessary to be a neuroscientist! The basic information about how our body responds to a stressful event was covered in Chapter Two. Now it is important to understand how healthy nurturing relationships as children build a healthy nervous system, what happens when this doesn’t occur, and what you can do to build the missing foundational building blocks you may have missed.  

How are Self-Regulation and Spiritual Practices Connected?

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