Why is Protection So Important?
#16 in the series: What I Wish I had Known Before Beginning Therapy
As I entered into the office area where my husband and I worked, he walked toward me and said, “Some woman called my phone and asked for you. She wouldn’t give me her name.”
Oh no, I had given his phone number again!
“Ummm, let’s go in your office,” I said. “I think I know who it is.”
Sure enough, for the third time in a month, I had given someone his phone number. This time, it was the therapist I contacted for my first-ever therapy appointment. When the three of us got the confusion untangled, I understood one thing—I could count on both my husband and my new therapist to protect me. Why? Because they had a royal standoff during their phone conversation and neither one budged an inch in giving up any information.
Even knowing that my therapist had maintained confidentiality in that awkward situation, trust did not come easily. That is one of the biggest understatements I have ever typed. Protection is a very big deal to survivors of childhood abuse. In recent conversations with survivors, several have expressed that what they wanted most as a child was to be protected.
Often when individuals in Foster Care, teaching, or child welfare settings begin to be involved in the lives of traumatized children, they may believe that what the child longs for is love. After ten years of healing, I realized that being loved did not equal being protected and if I had to choose between feeling loved and feeling protected, I would choose protection every time. Love means nothing without protection.
Do children confuse the two concepts? Yes. That is why it is so easy for perpetrators to create trust by “love bombing.” It is also why it is so difficult for adult survivors of childhood abuse to believe that expressions of love are authentic. They were often abused by those who should have protected them—and often said they loved them. Expressions of love without protection are relational betrayals.
The need for protection applies to all relationships and those who were not protected as children often grow up believing they are the only ones who can protect themselves. Trust does not come easily!
What I didn’t understand when I began therapy was how important knowing I was protected would become. Protection was the basis of my trust. Licensed, mental health professionals are required to maintain the ethical guidelines of their profession. This includes keeping your information confidential (with some exceptions such as if you pose a danger to yourself or others).
Those who break the ethical code are rare, but yes, it can happen—in any profession. There are no guarantees but the risk is less when you choose to see a licensed therapist that is supervised and required to maintain a code of ethics. It would have been important for me to understand the ethical expectations I could have for the therapist.
Finally, searching for the Code of Ethics for therapists is completely overwhelming! So many organizations! So many words! So not client-friendly! My friend, ChatGPT provided this helpful summary which I found to be a reliable overview.
Therapists follow several important guidelines to ensure they provide ethical and effective care. Here are some key guidelines they adhere to:
Confidentiality: Therapists must protect clients' privacy by keeping information shared during therapy sessions confidential. There are exceptions, such as if the client poses a danger to themselves or others, or if there is a legal requirement to disclose information.
Informed Consent: Therapists must obtain informed consent from clients before starting therapy. This involves explaining the nature and purpose of therapy, the risks and benefits, and the client's rights, including the right to withdraw consent at any time.
Competence: Therapists are required to provide services only within the boundaries of their competence, based on their education, training, supervised experience, and professional experience. They must seek additional training or supervision when dealing with issues beyond their expertise.
Dual Relationships: Therapists must avoid dual relationships with clients that could impair their professional judgment or increase the risk of harm. This includes not engaging in personal, social, or financial relationships with clients.
Non-Discrimination: Therapists must not engage in discrimination based on race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, religion, age, disability, socioeconomic status, or any other basis prescribed by law.
Professional Boundaries: Therapists must maintain appropriate professional boundaries with clients to avoid exploiting the therapist-client relationship. This includes avoiding physical, emotional, and financial exploitation.
Record Keeping: Therapists must maintain accurate and secure records of therapy sessions and other relevant information to provide quality care and comply with legal and ethical standards.
Competent Termination: When ending the therapeutic relationship, therapists must do so in a way that is in the best interest of the client, ensuring appropriate referrals or resources are provided if needed.
Cultural Competence: Therapists must strive to understand and respect the cultural backgrounds and identities of their clients, integrating this understanding into their practice to provide effective and respectful care.
Supervision and Continuing Education: Therapists must engage in ongoing supervision and continuing education to stay current with developments in the field and improve their skills and knowledge.
These guidelines help ensure that therapy is conducted in a safe, ethical, and effective manner, promoting the well-being and respect of clients.
Looking Ahead to the We Do Therapy Series that Will Begin in July for Paid Subscribers:
I have come to the realization that when I met Scott, my assessment of him was based on whether I believed he would protect me—he has. In the Tina Turner song, “What’s Love Got to Do With It?”* one line sums it up: “I've been thinking about my own protection. It scares me to feel this way” Attraction isn’t everything—one needs to be protected. I now would change the wedding vows to “
loveprotect her faithfully, today, tomorrow, and for as long as the two of you shall live?”
*Songwriters: Terry Britten / Graham Hamilton Lyle
Janyne, you certainly know how to nail it. Thank you! As a child who was not protected, I’m so thankful for the opportunity I have to stand up for and to protect the children entrusted to my care.