McMusing: How Did We Get Here?

How a Church* and Nation Lost its Moral Compass

AI Substack Image

I recently posted two articles on the topic of Clergy Sexual Abuse of Adults (Abuse is not an Affair and When Restoration Harms Victims). I intentionally steered clear of mentioning anything political because it didn’t apply to the focus of the articles. While the political aspect wasn’t the focus, there were connections. Those connections are a better fit for a McMusing.

The Positive Impact of Religion

Over the years, I have consistently been told that religion has a positive impact on society. I agree. I asked ChatGPT to list five ways this was true.

1. Moral and Ethical Framework – Many religious traditions provide moral guidelines that encourage kindness, honesty, and compassion, shaping ethical behavior within communities.

2. Community and Social Support – Religious groups foster a sense of belonging and provide emotional and practical support, especially during times of crisis, grief, or hardship.

3. Charitable and Humanitarian Efforts – Many religious organizations lead charitable initiatives, such as food banks, disaster relief, and medical aid, benefiting the less fortunate.

4. Inspiration for Art, Music, and Culture – Religion has played a major role in inspiring literature, music, art, and architecture, contributing to cultural richness and heritage.

5. Encouragement of Personal Growth and Well-Being – Religious practices, such as prayer and meditation, can promote inner peace, resilience, and a sense of purpose, improving mental and emotional well-being.

This list is religion dressed in its Sunday best and applies to all forms of religion—unless religion loses its way.

Identifying the Slippery Slope

I was also warned about the slippery slope of moral decay. Both the holiness churches where I was raised and the self-proclaimed fundamentalist churches I attended as an adult warned me about that slippery slope. They called it worldliness, but the world never frightened me. It was easier to discern danger in the world.

In A Brave Life, I stated that “the church*, ever-present in my life as a child, did not always feel safe. While many in the church loved and cared about me, there was an underbelly to the church that kept me on guard.” The underbelly was the very real threat of sexual abuse. Since no one talked about this, I thought what happened to me was an anomaly. It was not.

It has taken me a lifetime to understand that the slippery slope was not what the church believed it was. It was the fact that the church looked the other way or provided mercy without accountability when faith leaders or congregants morally failed. While proclaiming to be the source of the moral framework (#1), wide swaths of the church seemed unable to take a stand for the moral character of its leaders.

The Danger of Circling Wagons

There were many efforts to protect children from dangerous strangers who took on many forms of the others who lived outside of the walls of the church. All the while, the perpetrators lived freely among us—often with exemplary lives beyond reproach. And when their cover was blown, they were forgiven. Not only forgiven, but protected by those who circled the wagons to protect the church. We have watched this again, and again, and again.

The efforts to defend the church made the people of God immune to the pain of victims. When the victims began to speak, the church cried foul. The mental gymnastics required to place fault on the victim while protecting the perpetrator destroyed the moral compass of the church.

The cost of the lawsuits has been devastating, but the wagons still circle. When Christians were told to believe that society needed the church to be the framework for moral living, they feared what might happen in a country without important moral guidelines. The belief that Christianity was the sole source of that morality—and must be defended—blinded the church to the fact that moral character was no longer their guiding compass.

The Destruction of the Moral Compass

The moral compass of the church was destroyed from within during years of covering up or dismissing the sexual abuse of leaders and placing the blame on victims. Anyone who stepped in to protect the church would likely be seen as a hero. The damaged moral compass is what made the church so vulnerable to power. Wittingly or unwittingly 80% of the Evangelical church voted for those who did not view sexual abuse as a disqualifying moral failure.

Numbing the conscience of a nation to the scourge of sexual abuse—including the church—was the slippery slope. The underbelly of the church where sexual abuse of both adults and children continued unchecked destroyed the moral fiber of not only the church but the nation because religion that helps society lost its way.

I am well aware that some would say that what I have expressed here is an extreme stance based on an emotional reaction to my story of abuse. That thought is what numbing and denial look like—conscious or unconscious. We have become a church that can find outrage for everything except sexual abuse. For the most part outrage over sexual abuse is seen as an attack against the church or those that the 80% voted for.

The Path Forward

I feel compassion for the ministry leaders who are doing their best to reset the compass and lead the way for the church to fulfill those five influential roles once again. I do not believe that will be an easy path because of the resistance to addressing the prevalence of sexual abuse both in the nation and in the church.

Please! Do the work to protect the children. Stand guard for adults also. This is crucial. However, these protections do not begin to address how a majority of Christians no longer believe that sexual abuse is a moral failing that should set limits on leadership within the church or in politics.

I have tried to understand why those who abused me continued to lead, serve, and be respected. I always thought it was because no one knew. What I have learned during the past ten years confirms that this was not true. They did know—maybe not all of it, but someone always knew. Church and denominational leaders knew. My parents knew. Some of my relatives knew. People in the church knew. I even disclosed my abuse to a camp counselor when I was ten and sadly, was led in a prayer for forgiveness for lying. It wasn’t that no one knew.

In many ways, I am glad that my story never became public. Some were trying to protect me from the painful shaming afforded to all victims. I appreciate their desire to do so, but it became part of a web of silent complicity that has gotten us to this place where the pain of victims no longer matters.

If the prevalence of sexual abuse accusations of political leaders doesn’t make your skin crawl, consider how that could possibly happen. You didn’t just wake up one day and decide it was acceptable for leaders to lack moral integrity. You have become numb to the crumbling foundation of morality.

It is impossible to un-numb the church as a whole. Un-numbing requires a willingness to reflect deeply on how the complicity of silence and the distractions provided by moral outrage about everything but sexual abuse has destroyed the moral compass of the church. Circling the wagons when sexual abuse is revealed is harmful for everyone.

*Author Note: I realize the word church is inadequate to describe the incredibly diverse faith communities in the United States and around the world. If what I write in these Religious Trauma newsletters is not present in your church culture, that is a blessing that does not discount the existence of church culture which is traumatizing or re-traumatizing the wounded. I believe what I write on this topic has value for reflection even if your church culture is different.