It’s so easy to minimize when what did not happen is the problem. The term “chaotic neglect” is helpful to me. (This is really what I experienced with one of my parents.)
Will you say more about attachment-based therapies?
Yes, when I went back to research this topic and read the chaotic neglect, it was even more meaningful after this past year of processing. I thought it was important to include that. And, I am planning to do an entire series on various types of therapy. I keep thinking I will get there but then a question from someone sends me in another direction. I will get there!
I'm beginning to realize the devastating impact of good and evil being tied together—of thinking of something good as tied to evil, or of thinking of being treated well tied to being treated badly.
I missed this comment! Yes, when these things get connected as a child, they are so hard to understand as an adult. It is often what causes emotional chaos--we make no sense to ourselves and wonder why we can't be happy about good things.
I recently read “Adult children of emotionally immature parents” by Lindsay Gibson and that was really helpful to understand the parentifiction I went through and how they couldn’t handle my emotions (let alone theirs) and so I grew up in an emotionally neglectful environment and I had to manage their emotions instead.
It is so sad that it takes so much work to undo the harm done in those early years. It is beautiful when attachment goes right and tragic when it goes wrong.
Another great resource! I remember thinking, "You mean every child doesn't need to take care of their parent's emotions?" It was a remarkable epiphany. What some of us grow up thinking is normal is astounding.
Childhood Emotional Neglect occurs when parents fail to validate the child's emotions, and it leaves an adult who feels lonely and empty. CEN goes hand in hand with attachment ruptures, and it leaves its mark in many ways. Dr. Jonice Webb coined this term, and I highly recommend her two books, which are Running on Empty and Running on Empty No More. She's a great resource.
I actually meant to include her website as a resource. Asleep at the wheel on that one! I will mention this when I do part two next week. Thank you for jogging my intentions! I didn't use that term because I was going to put it in the resources and give her credit. LOL
It’s so easy to minimize when what did not happen is the problem. The term “chaotic neglect” is helpful to me. (This is really what I experienced with one of my parents.)
Will you say more about attachment-based therapies?
Thank you for all of this!
Yes, when I went back to research this topic and read the chaotic neglect, it was even more meaningful after this past year of processing. I thought it was important to include that. And, I am planning to do an entire series on various types of therapy. I keep thinking I will get there but then a question from someone sends me in another direction. I will get there!
I'm beginning to realize the devastating impact of good and evil being tied together—of thinking of something good as tied to evil, or of thinking of being treated well tied to being treated badly.
I missed this comment! Yes, when these things get connected as a child, they are so hard to understand as an adult. It is often what causes emotional chaos--we make no sense to ourselves and wonder why we can't be happy about good things.
This resonates so much. Thank you.
I recently read “Adult children of emotionally immature parents” by Lindsay Gibson and that was really helpful to understand the parentifiction I went through and how they couldn’t handle my emotions (let alone theirs) and so I grew up in an emotionally neglectful environment and I had to manage their emotions instead.
It is so sad that it takes so much work to undo the harm done in those early years. It is beautiful when attachment goes right and tragic when it goes wrong.
Another great resource! I remember thinking, "You mean every child doesn't need to take care of their parent's emotions?" It was a remarkable epiphany. What some of us grow up thinking is normal is astounding.
Your last paragraph resonates deeply.
This is so important. Thank you Janyne.
Childhood Emotional Neglect occurs when parents fail to validate the child's emotions, and it leaves an adult who feels lonely and empty. CEN goes hand in hand with attachment ruptures, and it leaves its mark in many ways. Dr. Jonice Webb coined this term, and I highly recommend her two books, which are Running on Empty and Running on Empty No More. She's a great resource.
I actually meant to include her website as a resource. Asleep at the wheel on that one! I will mention this when I do part two next week. Thank you for jogging my intentions! I didn't use that term because I was going to put it in the resources and give her credit. LOL